some sort of artist statement

i realize now that i have not been commiting to any photographic project for one reason. a really bad one to be honest, but we always need an excuse for not accomplishing something.

that reason? i don’t own the camera i need for my work. a nice 4×5 toyo view camera with full movements.

the basis of my artistic (photographic) work revolves around the my love for the tactile, for textures , for processes. it’s about the choice of subjects. the choice of camera. of film. the choice of lighting. it’s about setting up the camera in the right angle. loading the film. loading more film. then cracking open the box in the dark. blindly rolling it in the holder. pouring in the chemicals. shaking. rinsing. and watching it dry as you start selecting the frames you will use.  in my case, my favorite part of using the 4X5 film is putting my gloves and slowly unloading the neg holders in the dark, sinking each negative in the baths, shaking 4 times, turning the light on, and see the image i’ve created as it gets rinsed in cool water and hanging them one by one in the dryer.

then going back to the darkroom with the finished negs and a box of paper carefully chosen for the purpose of the work. in my case, matte fiber-based Ilford black and white paper. 11×14. or 16×20. some bodies need a larger scale to do them justice.

i can spend hours in this red-light district. the pleasure of watching your perfect print appear as it bathes in liquids while you inhale all the chemicals possible.

i miss it.

I seriously need to get my act together and go back to the darkrooms.