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i thought i would share this image. 

i find a lot of people tend to do this. i have done this. i’m not sure which is best.

follow the heart, or follow the brain?

i like to follow the heart better. you get hurt after, for sure.

But isn’t that what life is about?

 

image taken from : http://iameverywhere.posterous.com/where-are-you-iam

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superwoman syndrome

i was in haiti because i was hired to take photos for a friend of the family. i was meant to be there for one week. the plan was to stay at his place, photograph for a couple of days, see my sick (dying) aunt and my friends, and go back home.

two days before departure date, my aunt ended up at the hospital. i knew then that it would be the last time i would get to see her. my plan was to leave the airport and go straight to the hospital.
i got the call as i was boarding the plane.

the last time i had seen my aunt, seven years ago, she was  plump (very plump), depressed, yet full of life. a beautiful woman who lost touch with herself.
in the seven years that have passed, she disintegrated into a 90 pound old lady, lost in her mind. lost in her skin. we rarely spoke. our last conversation was on her birthday, in february. she cried. i cried. i promised to call her back in a few days. the calling card died. i never spoke to her again.

next time i saw her was in a coffin. looking like death. like death was a drag queen.

to be honest, writing this right now, is the first time i can say i am feeling the grief. it is the first time i have cried for her death since the funeral. it is as though the minute mom threw her ashes in the air, i put all of this in and wanted to forget it. wanted to be ‘strong.’ my superwoman syndrome kicked in.

It has been 2 months.

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