i had to revisit this series to find an image i had not seen before.

i’m inspired again.


the next two years are going to be grand

i have no yet shared this. i was waiting for it to be official.

i will be going back to school. full-time. at night. and work. too.

 i am actually really really excited. i am going to learn how to make it in the business of commercial photography/magazines/advertizing/anything  i can get from my learning experience.

for those of you who know me, i have a BA in theatre and photography. blending both of my passions into one degree, i learned everything i could about how to be more creative, how to be critical, to produce work that can hold their own in a gallery, and defend my work from the harsh critics out there (believe me, i know how harsh they can be, i am one of the worst you’ll encounter… i should have considered this as a career path.) yet, after graduating, i have not produced a single substantial body of work. and i have never exhibited my work. and have had one paid contract. ever.

after graduation, i got lost in the real world, wondering where to go and what to do with my artsy-fartsy self. so i decided to go against all odds. massage therapy. don’t get me wrong, i absolutely loved it. and i was good at it. i took my classes, passed most exams, failed a couple. i met amazingly beautiful people and learned so much about myself.  ( i like to call it the best, most conclusive, cheap, intensive therapy i could get!) i learned about the body, my body, others’ body. i learned about depth and intuition, and souls and energy. and compassion. and love. and then, i failed my finals, dropped everything and went back to get lost in the real world. except this time, i had a partner in crime 🙂

a year later, here i am getting ready to start classes again.

i was at walmart last night, getting catnip for the cats (yes, my love and i have 2 black cats, with way too much attitude to handle!) and the minute we hit the school supplies, i felt like a little girl and wanted to buy everything. really, everything. the point is, i am excited because i will be learning the dark side of my craft: the commercial side.

for so long, i stood strong against the idea of digital photography and commercial work, blindly thinking that it was destroying the process, and that photoshop was killing authenticity, and yada yada yada. i will admit, i am still in love with the process of analog photography, and make it one of my mission to keep doing it until there is no more film to be developed. there is nothing like really thinking about your image before pressing the shutter, and creating a good image without the help of softwares we all know of. but.

but. technologies are changing. and the reality is, this is what it is, now. and whether i like it or not, there is no denying that i need to keep up with the field. and so, here i am going back to school. i have got a lot to learn. you’d think i’d know everything by now, being a photographer for 14 years now (i’m not that old, i was just young when i started.) but no. i don’t. and so, i am getting ready to learn everything, from advanced studio lighting, to food photography, to fashion, to building my website and working in magazines. i need to understand more about the business of commercial photography. and, in montreal, there is no place like dawson college.

so i am happy to say i will be a full time commercial photography student for the next two years.

i’m really really excited.


some sort of artist statement

i realize now that i have not been commiting to any photographic project for one reason. a really bad one to be honest, but we always need an excuse for not accomplishing something.

that reason? i don’t own the camera i need for my work. a nice 4×5 toyo view camera with full movements.

the basis of my artistic (photographic) work revolves around the my love for the tactile, for textures , for processes. it’s about the choice of subjects. the choice of camera. of film. the choice of lighting. it’s about setting up the camera in the right angle. loading the film. loading more film. then cracking open the box in the dark. blindly rolling it in the holder. pouring in the chemicals. shaking. rinsing. and watching it dry as you start selecting the frames you will use.  in my case, my favorite part of using the 4X5 film is putting my gloves and slowly unloading the neg holders in the dark, sinking each negative in the baths, shaking 4 times, turning the light on, and see the image i’ve created as it gets rinsed in cool water and hanging them one by one in the dryer.

then going back to the darkroom with the finished negs and a box of paper carefully chosen for the purpose of the work. in my case, matte fiber-based Ilford black and white paper. 11×14. or 16×20. some bodies need a larger scale to do them justice.

i can spend hours in this red-light district. the pleasure of watching your perfect print appear as it bathes in liquids while you inhale all the chemicals possible.

i miss it.

I seriously need to get my act together and go back to the darkrooms.